Fast-forward 4 years when my independent thought had taken a major turn for the better and my feelings for Santa remained largely unchanged. Despite his consistent present delivering performance, I remained suspicious, and started doubting his authenticity. When I questioned my mom she insisted he was real. Being who I am, no choice remained but to call her bluff. I stayed up all night until she finally broke and revealed the truth. Santa was a farce.
Unfortunately this didn't help my opinion of the dirty bastard. In fact, it made it worse. So you mean to tell me that there are thousands of fully grown, portly, bearded and white haired men that voluntarily dress up in a velvet red suit, black leather belt and boots, and sit in a velour throne in venues across the country, only to have "sane" parents pay money to have their young children sit on his lap? Am I the only one that sees something wrong with this picture? Personally, I think it's time to put an end to this Santa nonsense. Dude's creepy.
